Friday, November 16, 2012

The Best Mustaches in Comic Books!

In honor of Movember, I have decided I should enlighten all of you to some of the greatest mustaches you can find in comic books!

Commissioner Gordon 

First up, a classic in terms of ‘staches: The cop ‘stache. This staple of the follicular world has been around as long as our boys in blue have and makes cameo appearances in pornos now and then. The best example in comics is nestled between Commissioner James Gordon’s nose and upper lip. You can’t help but respect the law when you see this guy’s mustache. Whether it’s in its youthful red edition or the wise looking grey, crime has to cease its presence. 

The Warriors Three

For spot number four I am going to cheat and use three characters. But when you gaze upon these mustaches that can only be found in the mythological and verdant Asgard you will understand why. All of these spectacular ‘staches capture the essence of the character quite well. Hogun the Grim sports a horseshow mustache that any Hell’s Angel would be proud of. Fandral the Dashing obviously uses a lot of wax to achieve that Errol Flynn look. Finally,Volstagg the Lion-Hearted. This man has the most unique mustache in comics (not the best though). How does he get it to do that? I think it’s worth noting that Jack Kirby drew a lot of mustaches like this, perhaps this is what his looked like when it got away from him. 


Bam! Look at that mustache. Sure he tried to kill his son and take over Earth, but look at the cookie duster! I could almost forgive him. It’s just a powerful rectangle of masculinity. Is this where Viltrumites get their power?  

Dum-Dum Dugan

This may sound like hyperbole but it’s not, I wish Dum Dum Dugan was my dad. Then I would have had a shot at being able to grow a lip warmer like that. That’s a proud mustache. It’s just the right amount of fluffy that it doesn’t need wax but solid enough it doesn’t look like an orange chick got stuck on his face. If that guy came yelling at you from a trench in World War II you wouldn’t even bother trying to shoot him, you would just surrender. It’s no wonder the character has been around for 50 years, his mustache won’t let him die. 

J. Jonah Jameson
Can you feel your soul cracking?
That is a Hitler mustache. Jameson rocks it like it’s a Jameson mustache though. To put it into perspective, one of the most popular humans on Earth, Michael Jordan, couldn’t steal that mustache away from Hitler. Yet there stands Jameson, proud and unapologetic. Not only that but he is actually mayor of New York City in the comics! Can you imagine if somebody ran for office looking like that?! Shine on your crazy diamond, shine on.


1 comment:

Matt Seckman said...

I would have to add Sinestro to this list of awesome mustaches! :) I'm sure Tressa would agree. ;)

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