Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Horror Movie Review

 Hey there Poppers!!!  Once again, I appoligize for not being able to have a new episode this week...it seriously bums me out to no end.  But, in the mean time I figured that I'd bring you some fun blog posts!  First up, I've got three movie reviews for you...and they're not for new movies either.  Since we had a long weekend I had a good bit of time (finally) to just sit back and browse through Netflix.  I heart you Netflix....don't EVER leave me!!!! >.<  Alright, first up we have...

I Saw the Devil

This was quite a treat to find Saturday night as Kerry and I perused the selection at my house.  After watching ten minutes of Monster Party :P we decided to go back to old faithful...Korean horror flicks.  Kerry and I were naturally delighted to find this film was directed by Jee-woon Kim (Tale of Two Sisters) and stared Min-sik Choi (Oldboy).  We had high hopes going into the film and we were not disappointed.  Although, I would have to say that this is not a film for the squeamish.  Kerry and I can put up with a lot, but there were many scenes were the couch pillows were there to protect us from the visual carnage.  There was more blunt head trauma in this film to last me a life time.  I absolutely love Kim’s style and that fact that he doesn’t shy away from bright colors and beautiful daylight scenes in his horror films.  The film’s main star was Byung-hun Lee (The Good, the Bad, and the Weird), which Kerry and I both agree...we need to see more of, not only because he is an amazing actor but because he was pretty damn cute.  I won’t give away much to do with the plot.  It’s main subject is that of pure revenge, but just when you think this film is nearing it’s end...the crazy train just keeps on going.    

ooooo, boy you better watch yourself!!!!

The Broken

This is why I love Netflix so freakin’ much!!!  Normally (in the past) these Horrorfest films were hard to get a hold of, that is if you weren’t willing to buy it.  Instant steaming to the rescue!!!!  Lena Headey (Game of Thrones) stars in this physiological horror and she’s really the perfect actress for a film like this...she already looks so damn confused all the time (or she just had the worse Sour Patch Kid ever), it just came natural to her!  The film really felt like a long Twilight Zone story.  Lena’s character, Gina McVey, sees herself driving by in her own car one day and she starts to investigate where he doppelganger came from.  As the viewer you quickly find out that it has something to do with mirrors and some bizarro parallel universe, were Lena is ever more sour!!!!  It didn’t really do a lot of explaining itself, it just kind of plowed through and left the viewer (i.e. me) thinking...”Wha...why?...oooookkaaayyy....kinda cool, I guess?” by the end.  For what it’s worth, the film didn’t use the same old go to “shockers” that normal horror films so quickly do these days.  There weren’t a lot of special effects but it had plenty of creepy moments.  I’m not sure I would say it’s worth watching but if you in the mood and in a pinch, Broken does the trick.


Blood Creek

What?  I was in a mood this weekend!...Ah, who am I kidding, I’ll watch a horror movie any time, good or bad obviously.  Alright, I’m throwing the blame on Kerry for this one.  Her exact words were, “I enjoyed the heck out of that one!  It’s got Henry Cavill in it!!!”  So, naturally I threw it on to my cue for a later viewing.  Well, I was all by my lonesome last night while everyone was boozing it up with fireworks and I needed a flick to watch...it’s cool, I needed a night to myself.  Too bad the movie BLEW!!!!  I knew I should have stopped when I saw, “Directed by Joel Schumacher”...oh shit.  That name reverberates in my head when I think of how not to make a Batman movie.  Don’t get me wrong, he’s made some great movies (Falling Down, The Client, The Lost Boys) but he’s made a whole lot more terrible movies (Batman Forever, Batman and Robin, 8mm, Phone Booth)...I could go on for quite awhile folks.  This is about the pile of poo called Blood Creek, and when I read, “Nazis, zombies....Nazi zombie.” I was like, “BOOM!  I’m there.”  And to top it off the opening scene reveals Micheal Fassbender @_@ ....Fasssssssbenderrrrrrr....^_^  
The plot is as follows: In 1936, the Wollners, a German family living in rural West Virginia...yes West Virginia, are contacted by a Nazi Germany emissary to host Professor Richard Wirth (Fassbender). The family accept as they need the dough and thinking of Wirth as a visiting scholar.  HAHAHA, oh holy hell how wrong they were!!!  Wirth's project, has more to do with the occult....and really the worst kind, Nazis occult. Years ago, the family found a Viking runestone on their property and built a stable on top of it. Wirth wants to use its power and energies to do evil (naturally...he wasn’t there to start a rock garden) but the family locks him away in their cellar.  <.<  >.> Although he’s their prisoner they must keep capturing people to feed his blood lust...in order to appease him?...I got confused at this point, why couldn’t they just let him whither and die?!?!?  Whatever, somehow because they feed him, they are now immortal...oh, maybe that’s why they do it, but they seemed so freakin’ miserable!!! Alas, this is not how I like to view my Fassbender:


Henry Cavill (lookin fine I might add) plays the brother of a guy that was captured and nommed on for two years by the Nazi zombie...you know what, I wouldn’t even call him a zombie!!!!  He wasn’t technically dead, he was kinda ripe, but it was more like a vampire ripe...Nazi vampire...that’s it.  Did they even watch the movie before giving the synopsis???  Anywho, they go back to farm and raise hell...but not really in a good way...I got bored.  And the effects, oh man, I’ve seen better on the SciFi (SyFy, stoopid) channel. You’ve got to at least watch the clip were Fassbender brings a dead horse back to life, oh yea...there’s A LOT of zombie farm animals. :P  It sounds like a hot mess, but it’s totally not worth it.  Kerry and I will have to agree to disagree on this one.  Schumacher...stop it, stop it now.

That’s more like it....fifty thousand times better...and helllloooooo nurse! :3

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